How much time do you spend wishing that you had another life?
Is it an unfulfilled dream; a decision you regret; a time before some unwelcome change?
Maybe it is not a life you wish you had but a disdain for the one you are living.
Regardless of the situation, the problem remains the same. You are in mourning. You are experiencing a form of anguish.
You can stay in it if you want, but you should know it is a choice you are making, not something happening to you. You do not have to continue the cycle.
If you are mourning another life, that is because you are living passively.
Think of it as if you are floating down a river on a kayak. You are not happy with where you are headed, and you keep bumping into things along the way.
You see a steep drop up ahead and you are really bummed that you are about to go over it.
The whole time, you complain about being swept around, while completely ignoring the paddle and your ability to use it.
How could you possibly travel the path you want, if you are letting the current make all the decisions for you?
Even though you may not end up where you want to be, or even avoid the cliff, your entire viewpoint changes the second you pick up the paddle.
Making choices is the cure.
Choice Is Relief
There are three choices you can make on the river. They are the same choices you have in any situation.
Ask yourself what life you want and how much you are willing to risk getting it.
The answer to those questions will reveal the choice you make.
You could be content on the kayak, but you want to avoid colliding with the obstacles. Maybe you should pick up the paddle and steer.
This requires a bit of effort. You have to pay attention to where you are going. You have to learn to identify what the obstacles are and how to avoid them.
Do you even want to be in this situation? If not, it may be time to get out of the water.
Getting out of the situation requires a lot of effort initially. You have to fight against the current and make your way to land. There is a risk as you travel into the unknown.
Once you make it out though, it is done. There are still challenges that await you, but you got what you wanted.
Then there is the third option. You could continue along the current as you have from the start.
This choice requires the least amount of effort. In this choice, you know about the paddle and are aware of your options; you just do not care what happens enough to change.
By acting, or inaction, purposefully you are taking responsibility for the life you are living. This life is no longer something happening to you but something you are creating.
There is no room left for wishing for something else. A simple change in perspective can relieve unnecessary suffering.